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Friday Fun With Jim Williamson (Monday Edition)

Hello, party people. It’s a Monday, and that’s not fun. So let’s have our fun boyfriend Jim Williamson spice up the day with tales from the recent New York nuptials of Todd Fiscus and Ceron. When we last spoke, I was on a frantic search for a tuxedo—one that didn’t say, “Hey 2004, call me sometime.” Miracle of miracles, I found it on my first stop at Traffic LA at the Joule. Yes, I found a beautifully made tux in my size, and drum roll, please: It was 70 percent off! And the whole process took all of 30 minutes. I was so pleased with myself that I ordered a giant chicken-salad sandwich to celebrate and received a free cookie. A tux and a free cookie in the same day? Surely this was a sign that I had indeed done something nice at some point in my life.

Now let’s chat about the trip to New York City for the wedding of the century: the nuptials of superstar couple Todd Fiscus and Ceron.

When Max and I arrived in New York, it was a beautiful and sunny day. This was indeed a shocker because if you will recall (see all NYC recaps for past three years), our New York trips always come with some freak weather event.

Things were indeed looking up. However, I was looking down as we had no fewer than six bags between the two of us, and I wanted to make sure all the bags made it to the hotel. Yes, it is a highly ridiculous amount of bags for two grown men for five days of travel, but ultimately, it was a necessity for all of the wardrobe changes required on this trip. We had one bag devoted entirely to shoes, one for formal wear, one for cocktail attire, one for outerwear, and two for everything else.

We arrived at the hotel, and extra bonus, we had a suite. But since it was The London, all the rooms are suites. Trust me when I tell you this, suites are a marriage saver. Just try packing six bags and two grown men in a regular room at the Mondrian SoHo, and I guarantee after five days, there will be only one survivor. (I just had an idea for a pilot: Last Queen Standing.)

We dropped off the bags and immediately headed to our next destination, Bergdorf’s, for a quick bite before seeing The Glass Menagerie. The show was great—you can’t go wrong with a cast like that. We all know I love Bergdorf’s, but stores in New York during New Year’s Eve are beyond packed with people. I don’t like to shop when someone is trying to elbow me to get to a discounted sweater.  The following night we had tickets to Kinky Boots. What a great time to be had at the theater—such awesome performances. We definitely left feeling much happier than when we leave a Tennessee Williams play.

The following night was the dinner hosted by the Rachofskys. I was excited to try a new restaurant and see old friends, but as would prove to be our theme for the weekend, we were the first to arrive. It is always awkward to be the first, especially when it isn’t your party. So we slipped around the corner to have a drink. Good thing we did because we discovered a new place we want to try on a future trip. Unfortunately, even after our drink, we were still early!

But soon enough people arrived. We had a delicious meal, and soon it was time for toasts. I thought I was safe from having to make one as there were plenty of toast-worthy people in attendance. But after what I thought was to be the last toast of the evening, I heard Ceron say, “Jimbo?” It felt like the room went completely silent (It didn’t.) as two video cameras with lights turned toward me. I heard Max say, “Go on, Honey. Make that toast!”

But Honey was having a flashback to the first time he had to speak in public. I was in a play at church (or someplace equally scary) when I was like 5 or 6. I was fine in rehearsals, but the night of the big show, I got on stage and looked at the audience and immediately began to cry. I had that same feeling in this room. But thanks to some wise words floating around in my head (Thanks, Lady Gaga!), we all got though my toast.

Now to the day of the big event, the wedding! Since we were in Midtown, and the wedding was downtown, we figured we would just catch the subway. But guess what? On New Year’s Eve, they shut that subway stop down as well as all of the traffic in and around the hotel. Getting a taxi in Midtown on New Year’s Eve at 6 p.m. when you have to be downtown by 7? Forget about it!!

So we walked to the next subway station in our formal attire. It felt like it was miles away on the other side of the park at Columbus Circle. It was cold, Max was getting crankier by the second, and our shoes were starting to hurt. I was trying not to freak out, but I was worried that we had come all this way ,and we might miss the wedding.

After some confusion and more frustration, we made it to the event. And guess what? We were freaking early! They weren’t even done setting up, and here two queencicles in tuxedos show up.

The wedding has already made some headlines, and the honeymooners will be back in just a few days, but as you would expect from Todd, I have to say, it was a beautiful affair. The flowers were amazing. Really, everything was perfect. Even though it was a formal evening in a glass room—with to-die-for views, designer clothes galore, jewels that could make Wallace Simpson cry, wine so expensive it could be used for a down payment on a small lake house, “hundred dollar” chicken, a caviar station larger than my first bathroom, and a full band with Broadway singers—it still felt comfortable. That’s a testament to mad skills and attention to detail. It was truly a night I will never forget. We toasted the happy couple while looking at the fireworks above Manhattan at the stroke of midnight.

The final night was the farewell dinner—Dim Sum disco at Shun Lee West—complete with disco, of course, and drag queens in full-out geisha mode. We all agreed this is how all weddings should end.

So I stressed for weeks about a wedding that was not my own, but I needn’t have.  All I had to do was show up, look nice, and enjoy myself. And that I did. Also, how is it that you make fun new friends in New York City and find out you all grew up not all that far from each other? Just lucky I guess.

And guess what we just missed? The freak weather event, Hercules. On departure, our stewardess was telling us to hustle so they could get the plane filled and de-iced to get us out. It was that close.

And that’s a wrap. Here’s to a great new year and the many more good times ahead!