I miss the Olympics and I am obsessed with the Prince Harry story. So I’ve been speaking in a British accent, but it’s not enough. I asked my lovely friend John Phifer Marrs to pretend that William and Kate were coming to Dallas to check out the town. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He could take them to the Arts District. And obviously, he would take them shopping in the Design District. But I want a fun, silly day—one that would make them laugh. Where would he take them? How would they get there? Here’s the funny stuff he came up with. If William and Kate came to Dallas and I was given the honor of giving them a unique Dallas tour, I would rent the limo adorned with a set of Longhorns. We would start early with a trip to Mama’s Daughter Diner on Irving Boulevard for a lovely Southern breakfast. I think they would like the unpretentious atmosphere and all the funny sayings on the wall. Bonus: breakfast would be cheap, and I’m sure I would have to pay. Royals never have any money on them. Or so I’m told.
Next, I would take them to Sam Moon so Kate could shop for some “fun” costume jewelry. Maybe Wills could get a cool case for his iPhone. (I assume he has at least one.) Next, we would stop at The Lucky Dog Barkery so they could purchase a present for their new dog. Then I think I might take Will to the Bass Pro Shop, just to see William’s eyes light up!
We couldn’t stay long cause because by this time, we’d surely be ready to lunch. I’ve chosen Rise at Inwood Village. The food is wonderful, and we might just have the good luck to run into Laura and the “W” since they also love to eat there. I should think they would be very impressed if they saw me there with Will and Kate. Sure, the Bushes might actually know them. But if not, I could happily make the proper introductions.
I’ve saved the afternoon for “museums.” Off we go to Louis Tussaud’s Palace of Wax in Grand Prairie. I figure they royal lovebirds might enjoy popping by and seeing if “they” are actually on display. I suppose I could probably call ahead and find out, just to save them some embarrassment if they’re not being exhibited. But where’s the fun in that?
After that, it’s time to rush to Al Biernat’s for a drink. All the swells would be there, and it wouldn’t hurt to be seen with this handsome couple. Also, it’s noisy so I could really be saying almost anything and no one could hear me. This would reduce the chances of making a fool of myself by saying something inappropriate.
Then it’s time for our final stop for the evening: Medieval Times. Will and Kate might feel at home here , what with all the Medieval stuff and jousting. I’m assuming the good people at Medieval Times would comp the admission. [Don't bet on it. –Ed] And that’s pretty much it because I think I would be worn out dealing with them, as nice as I’m sure they are.